I'm afraid i'll start messing around behind his back again! should I walk away from our marriage?
Q. Help....so confused iv been with my husband 24 years married 19 years two beautiful grow up children, over the past 10 years iv felt neglected unwanted unloved,i felt so low lack of confidence i started having affairs,i hate myself and feel discusse...
A. 8 September 2010: That's up to you, but sometimes if you don't try, you'll never know the outcome that could have been. ... (read in full...)
Does being happy with yourself physically affect how happy you are mentally as well?
Q. Dear Cupid, I suffer from intensely low self esteem. I am very critical of myself, my weight, my looks. My boyfriend, however, thinks I am very attractive the way I am. But i still feel insecure. I've started shaping up and looking great, and I do...
A. 8 September 2010: It can boost your self esteem, but I have to warn you, it depends on what your intent is. If you are doing it to look better than others, or as a comparison, you will never find yourself as being whole, or having a high self confidence. When your ... (read in full...)
Cheated on him with his best friend! Help!
Q. I made thee biggest mistake of my life! I've never had a real relationship up intell this point and I love him with all my heart! I cheated on the only guy I've every really cared about, with his best friend! I know that sounds soo bad! I dont know ...
A. 7 September 2010: Some lessons are learned the hard way. Whether you kissed or had sex, cheating is cheating. If he gives you a chance down the road, he'll treat lightly, because of being afraid that what happened this time, may happen again. I agree with your ... (read in full...)
Have I wasted my first kiss?
Q. I'm 16 and never had i boyfriend, before last week i went out for dinner with my best friend and this very good looking waiter came up and asked for my number. I would normally say no, i have a boyfriend because im very shy. But he seemed nice so my ...
A. 7 September 2010: Your welcome. I was just letting you know for future reference. It's okay that you enjoyed it. Who wouldn't, so don't feel bad. Just keep yourself protected so someone doesn't try to go further than what you are wanting to go. Take care. ... (read in full...)
Have I wasted my first kiss?
Q. I'm 16 and never had i boyfriend, before last week i went out for dinner with my best friend and this very good looking waiter came up and asked for my number. I would normally say no, i have a boyfriend because im very shy. But he seemed nice so my ...
A. 7 September 2010: I agree with the other poster. You enjoyed the kissing, so I don't think you should look at it as being wasted. His rubbing you through your pants was forward for the first date. It may have felt good, but I can bet he was wondering how you felt ... (read in full...)
Serious dysfunctional family, need advice.
Q. I am 19 year old who was taken away as a toddler when I was 3 years old from my biological family (11 children total). The state of Louisiana put me into foster care and I eventually was adopted out. My foster family was slightly dysfunctional at ...
A. 7 September 2010: I'd say to contact them through a letter or through your brother, and ask whichever one you feel you can talk to, to meet somewhere public to talk, such as over coffee or whatever.
Although you had this dysfunction, you are your own person. ... (read in full...)
What to do when head and heart are telling you different things?
Q. What can you do when your heart and head are in conflict about your relationship? What can you do when your heart is telling you this is the woman of your dreams, someone you completely love and would wait an eternity for, while your head is sta...
A. 7 September 2010: she may or may not feel about you the way you do with her. following your heart is following your truth. isn't that what's important. she may or may not feel the same, but that's not for you to judge and allow doing so to interfere with how you feel ... (read in full...)
Cheating girlfriend
Q. I've been dating this girl for four months and i was aware she was a slut by the time i got involved with her but i thought she was going to change as time goes on but she didnt. I use to call her a slut and she kept on telling me that she was not ...
A. 7 September 2010: you may, but is this the best for you? what do you want in a relationship? it's time for you to decide that, and if being with someone who acts this way does not fit within what you are looking for, you may need to make a change. you don't need to ... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to go over there and meet this guy?
Q. I'm 17, 18 in a few months, I have been talking to this guy in Washington since around April, he is 20. Anyway he wants me to come over to see him, hes in college and drinks a lot he says, my life is pretty bad at home right now and I see it as the ...
A. 7 September 2010: Your right. He wants sex. That's what I feel he'd see that you are delivering. What are you looking for in a guy. If it's sex and partying, this guy sounds like the right one. If you're looking for more, it'd be a gamble if this guy would be the one ... (read in full...)
Mother and brother in law's girlfriend are not treating me right!!!
Q. Hi all, im pregnant and very happy, im about 14 weeks pregnant, now the other kid is also pregnant and she were always treated like a queen. Whell its my brother in law's girlfriend susan , she found out she is pregnant about 4weeks now. Now ...
A. 7 September 2010: I think it's okay for you to determine how others will treat you, and hold your expectations to that standard. Your husband can relay that as well to his parents. You are your own person and have every right to demand to be treated well, by anyone ... (read in full...)
Why did he leave me for his ex wife?
Q. My boyfriend left me for his "stupid" ex-wife. I was seeing this man for 2 months. We met online and hit it off. He is 43, a respiratory therapist, works nights, makes 75k, and divorce with 2 kids (female 19/12). Everything was great. We never ...
A. 7 September 2010: I don't know why he chose that direction. From what you say, his ex wife sounds like someone he should stay away from. They have history together, and it sounds like there is something within that history that he kept holding on to, that may be ... (read in full...)
It was all a game and I fell for it?
Q. I cant talk to friends or family about this or i will never live it down. Just a little background. I am 44 single mom of 2 kids, when they were younger i got burned bad in a relationship and vowed to wait until they were out of the house to avoid ...
A. 6 September 2010: You really aren't a fool. His getting cold was the sign. He pushed away, but then you, with your "safe sex" comment, brought him back to being warm, but not for the reasons you would have hoped. If someone is cold and backs off, write it off, don't ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep visiting orkut profile?
Q. Hi, I have an account on orkut.You can see who visited your profile on home page.My ex keeps visiting my profile.We broke up 2 yrs ago.It was his decision since he had to move to another state for higher studies.He is 31 now. Initially he woul...
A. 6 September 2010: I agree with C.Grant. It seems he hasn't moved on. It doesn't seem as if he has any sort of strange intent. It looks like he's keeping a piece of you as a spark in his life.
Take care. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 5 September 2010: If it works for you, and makes you two happy, it's a good compromise. It's good that you are willing to do that as well. I wish you two the best. Take care. ... (read in full...)
I procrastinate and don't put much effort towards anything, how can I change?
Q. I am an extremely generous and caring person. I love to make people laugh and feel happy in general. My biggest problem is that although I know in the back of my mind that I am attractive and tons of people love me, I just can't seem to fucking love ...
A. 4 September 2010: have you ever been tested for ADHD. it's really not a bad thing to have, but it does present obstacles, such as the ones you listed. i have it and cope with these same issues by spending some time at night to plan my next day. decide, who do you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: be traditional with him, or he'll have to change his perception. There has to be some room for compromise, or neither one of you will be truly satisfied. I can't see how you'd be replacing him, if you're seeking to give him pleasure as well. He may ... (read in full...)
I love him and I want to be with him forever but I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way anymore.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. Lately we've been arguing a lot and I feel like he doesn't love me the way that he did in the beginning of the relationship. He's been avoiding me for 2 weeks straight now. he hasn't called me ...
A. 4 September 2010: Ask him "who is she?" I know it's scary, but you need to know the truth before making a decision. The part I'm weary about, and thinking there is a possibility of there being someone else, is how he's ignored you for two weeks. You need to ask him ... (read in full...)
He's gone off to Sweden to get this out of his system...
Q. So the guy I have been dating for a few months has gone off to sweden to meet someone he snogged before we met. he states that it is to get it out is system and we have discussed openly that he is clearly going away for whatever it maybe sex, space ...
A. 4 September 2010: I'd say this is not okay. Should have had this out of his system when you two got together and began dating. I'd recommend you not be there when he returns. This really is disrespectful behavior. Either he wants you or he wants her. If he's going to ... (read in full...)
I thought women are fickle, so how come my man is even more fickle?
Q. Hi, Over the course of two years, I've seen my boyfriend changed from casual partner to potential life time partner. Here's the things he said to me, about me, about us throughout these two years in timely sequence, and I am pretty much level heade...
A. 4 September 2010: but this flim flaming shouldn't be justified if it negatively affects you. What can you count on with this guy? One day he wants one thing then the next day something else. Anytime he says he wants something, just tell him that you don't believe ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: He needs to find out what is driving his insecurity. Holding the toy or not, he's the one who's enjoying the pleasure with you. I think he's being unrealistic, but it's his insecurity, and it's a real threat to him. He needs to take time and figure ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend with my cousin!
Q. So a few weeks ago, I went to visit my cousin who lives in another country. I haven't seen him in 2 years and we are really good friends even though we haven't had much facetime (we've lived in different countries our whole lives). During my visit, ...
A. 4 September 2010: it's hard, but the only way to overcome guilt is to come clean, ask and possibly receive forgiveness for this. when you cheat, and come clean, the direction of your relationship is handed over to the one you cheated on. he might forgive you, then ... (read in full...)
I think about cheating... a lot
Q. I'm in my first relationship. This is my boyfriend's second serious relationship and he's hooked up with a few girls. He says he loves me more than anything and wants to marry me. I do love him but I don't know if I love him as much as he lo...
A. 4 September 2010: you need to decide what you want and what you're looking for. if it's your boyfriend you want, stay with him, if you want to act on being with other guys, cheating is not the answer, ending your relationship, then pursuing what you want would be. ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my social science teacher!
Q. my social science teacher just got out of uni, so hes really young and hes reeally hot. The other day my friend said that id have sex with anyone for even a can of coke... And this made me cry. A lot. So my teacher came and sat next to me, asking me ...
A. 4 September 2010: Sounds like he was comforting you in a difficult situation. It's easy to have a crush when someone takes time to care like that, but you have to understand adults will comfort those who hurt, without intentions of dating or anything else. He's a ... (read in full...)
My family are blatant in their discrimination
Q. Hi, I come from a rather conservative background, where caste based discrimination still exists. Around 7 months ago, I landed myself, my first job. where I met this guy, almost 10 years senior to me and we hit it off instantly. I've been seei...
A. 4 September 2010: You two have your relationship, let them come around on their own time. Be blunt. Let them know that he is who you choose, and whether or not they do, that will not change. Spend more time with you two and less time with family. If they want to be ... (read in full...)
He doesn't love me enough to leave his children
Q. If your married lover says that he doesn't love you enough to walk out on his children,does that mean he never will?...
A. 4 September 2010: It means his kids come first in his life. That's how it should be. He's married, why are you with him? Find someone who's single that is there for you. Your with someone now who is not yours to begin with, so you really can't expect much other than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: I don't think his jealousy has anything to do with your toys, as much as it does with his self confidence. The toys are only an excuse to pin this on. This needs to be looked at, absent the toys as being his excuse. What, in him, makes him feel ... (read in full...)
How can I over come this major depression without doctors or pills?
Q. I'm suffering from major depression. I've just constantly got it in my head the world hates me. I cry myself to sleep most nights. What can I do other than go the doctors? Everyone always suggests doctors, I do not like doctors or pills, so it ...
A. 4 September 2010: I'd recommend exercise, ie. speed walking etc. It's said it releases the same chemical many of the anti-depressants do. Also, St. Johns Wart, which is an herbal supplement, but works as an emotional stabler.
If it comes down to it, see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and afraid of what everyone is going to think
Q. heyyah im 15 and im pregnant but the father or my parents dont know anything about it and im scared of what they all might say...im scared of the father leaving me on my own to raise the baby and im scared that my parents might not want anythin to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Telling them is what you need to do. It can be extremely scary. I have daughters too, I know I would be upset if they got pregnant, but I would be there to help them through it. You are going to have to face this. You might want to confide in a ... (read in full...)
Will my friend ever end her bad relationship?
Q. She is in a rocky relationship. In a relationship with her bf for 5 years. Broke up but patched countless times. She had cried, being emotionally hurt in this relationship A month back, she cried because of this relationship. She tells me he is very ...
A. 30 August 2010: Only time will tell if she will. I would recommend that she does. No one should have to go through being controlled, manipulated or abused. I agree it can be difficult to move on, but she needs to take into account, what she would be moving on from. ... (read in full...)
He said that he hadn't been happy for 5 years and doesn't love me anymore.
Q. I'm about give up. My husband of 11 years( been together 18) with 3 kids,9,7 and 5 left me 3 months ago. He said that he hadn't been happy for 5 years and doesn't love me anymore. He is living in a house of a friend rent free. He has said that he ...
A. 30 August 2010: It depends. Are you ready to tall it quits? Is that what you want or do you want to see if there is potential to reconcile? Marriage is not easy, and it sounds like if you do stay together, more counseling is needed. Why he's not happy is also ... (read in full...)
What is myth and what is real?
Q. I'm really interested to know, if a man in their 50 s are highly suspectable to become impotent. I, in my twenties, and my boyfriend is 56. I love him, he is great lover, he can do it twice a day, and he wants all sort of things from me. Like ...
A. 30 August 2010: What is real is that his ex-wife does not have your sex life as a priority to assure it's a good one. Don't take advice from her. Of course she's pissed. He's with someone, she may have been 30 years ago. I'm sure their is raging jealousy with her, ... (read in full...)
What could have caused this fear?
Q. hey, i'm here today to ask about something. it might not be about relationships, but it is about emotions. today at work my boss was teaching the kids for a summer school thing. and he was teaching them 'stranger danger'. well as he was teaching ...
A. 30 August 2010: See, talking to the kids hit home. You may not be normally afraid, but this situation at work is what I call, "In relation too", therefore your subconscious related to what was being said, the environment you were in, and can also be simply the age ... (read in full...)
What could have caused this fear?
Q. hey, i'm here today to ask about something. it might not be about relationships, but it is about emotions. today at work my boss was teaching the kids for a summer school thing. and he was teaching them 'stranger danger'. well as he was teaching ...
A. 29 August 2010: Don't think fear is cowardly. We all have fears. He was talking about strangers at the time, think about what exactly he said the moment you felt the fear. There may have been something or a close call that may have happened to you when you were ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she understand we were both wrong?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years.. We both brought children into the relationship. Things transpired and we both ended up cheating on eachother. Her's was physical, and mine was disrespectful also. She cheated on me ...
A. 29 August 2010: Have you truly forgiven each other for the past issues? That's the most important action, if you really want to move forward. You both cheated, hers physical, and yours emotional, but not any less wrong than a physical affair. Cheating is simply ... (read in full...)
How do I forget?
Q. Is there a way, i can block the memories of my dead lover? It hurts too bad to think of him. I remember his beautiful face and sweet, funny personality. And I miss him painfully. My heart aches so much for him. It's only been 2 months now. It's the ...
A. 29 August 2010: It will hurt, and why do you want to forget. It's the good times people share with us that is worth remembering. You're going to experience different stages, some easier than others, but there are always different stages when grieving. It's okay to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is hot and gets hit on by other guys... now I'm insecure about it
Q. I am a male, and I am having some issues with my Girl Friend. We have been dating for about a year, and we have a very good and intimate relationship. My gf is very pretty, I cant even stress this point enough. The first time I ever saw her my heart ...
A. 28 August 2010: You need to realize first that if she wanted the other guys, she would not be with you. Does that make sense? You look at her as being pretty, but I bet she doesn't see herself the same way you do. Many women, although pretty, see themselves as ... (read in full...)
I feel like I've ruined my life for good!
Q. I feel like ive ruined my life at such a young age :/ ive done soo many stupid things and its only hit me now how messed up i am.... this year alone, ive had drug issues, stds, abortion and got myself into loads of debt, and ive just realised ho...
A. 27 August 2010: Have you seen, "Dead Man Walking?" If not, watch it. The sister told the man on death row, "You are better than the worse thing you have ever done." I believe that to be a true statement. Sure you've made mistakes, but now you can decide no more ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated on me and now I feel like retaliating with a friend to show him how it feels!
Q. I recently found out my husband of 5yrs was having an affair with another married woman for a little over a year. To make things worse, let me mention that I was pregnant with our 2nd child and not only did he have the nerve to screw her in MY car, ...
A. 27 August 2010: Understand if you do, you will be no better than he has been. It's the act of adultery that hold the title adulterer for those who act against the marriage. Right now he is, and you are faithful, but if you do anything with your friend, you can no ... (read in full...)
We are at different stages in life and I know I should just be happy being friends, but I cant help but feel sad about it....
Q. Hello my dilemma is this: I'm 24 years old, I just turned 24, and I met an absolutely amazing guy. I completely feel like I can be myself around him. He is wonderful in many ways. The issue? He's 39. So when I turn 25, he'll be 40. I just want to ...
A. 26 August 2010: Follow your heart. You may be at a different stage, but what are stages anyway. People are in relationships because they enjoy each other. Even as you get older, you can't guarantee yourself that someone your age won't be at a different stage ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out!
Q. I met a girl at a house party on monday. She added me on facebook and then sent me a message on it which I replied. I'm fairly keen on her and I'f like to ask her out (will have a convo on facebook first before I consider). However I have a few prob...
A. 26 August 2010: Just because the last gal wasn't ready doesn't mean the same is true here. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend, ask her on a date, because that can remain platonic or it can develop into something more. Just say that you enjoy talking to her, and ... (read in full...)
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