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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I should be looking forward to My youngest son starting fulltime school in september but I'm dreading it.He has been attending the nursery at his school for about 18months now and is due to start reception.however he has never really settled at nursery and every morning he screams when its time for me to leave. He will throw tantrums and doesnt mix as well as i would like him to.He has a speech delay so can be difficult to understand at times.(however this is just because he didnt start talking until he was 3 1/2 so has a lot to catch up on.He has been seen by the education Psychologist while at nursery and there has been a slight improvement he has started to mix with some of the other children but still prefers to do his own thing .if he cant get his own way then the tantrums begin.although the nursery staff have been wonderful i dont feel i'm personally doing enough to change this behavior,i dont know what to do.I want him to enjoy school but i'm dreading a new teacher and not being able to see him into class(you take your child into nursery but at reception they go in together with their teacher to make them feel grown up and a bit more independant)does anyone have any tips on how i can encourage him to settle at school that doesnt include shouting!Thx Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, DrPsych  + ♥, writes (10 August 2006):
 Stop dreading him going to school as you may notice a big improvement in his behaviour as a consequence of the structured environment of a classroom. Teachers are experienced at dealing with a range of child personalities. However, as a parent you should hide your anxieties very well as children can easily pick up on this - if you expect him to behave badly then he will. On the first day many teachers don't encourage parents into the classroom as separation can be hard for lots of Mum's and Dad's. So drop him off at school and leave. You should make sure the school have a copy of the ed.psychologists report and ask to see the school SENCO (special educational needs coordinator) if there is no improvement in his speech and language in the first couple of months. You may also wish to contact a speech and language therapist via your GP as early intervention is the key to correcting language difficulties. If you find that he has problems reading and writing, as well as speaking - usually this is very apparent by the age of 6 - then you should query a diagnosis of dyslexia. If his behavioural problems don't settle down then query a diagnosis of attention deficit disorder. Children with dyslexia and ADD often have speech difficulties that are evident before they start to read and write fluently. They also have some behavioural difficulties (not always!) related to poor social skills, turn taking etc.
A
female
reader, immuno +, writes (8 August 2006):
 I don’t know if this will help but I baby-sit for children of various ages 2-5. I have noticed that it seems harder on the children when their mom’s actually come in with them "to get them settled". I ask the moms to do whatever makes them comfortable but I on days the moms are "running late" and don’t have time to come in with the kids, the tantrums are not as bad. I think the kids pick up on the anxiety that the moms are having about leaving them and when the moms are worrying more about getting to work on time this is lessened for them both. I had a mom that noticed this and she started calling me when she was in my drive so that I could meet her at the door, this stopped the tantrums and it became a routine that helped us all. It sounds like with the delayed speech some of his tantrums might be stemming from frustration due to his communication problems, the psychologist should be able to give you some ideas on helping him. My 17 year old has some of the same issues when he was growing up. We used sign language on every day words that were harder for him to pronounce (and us to understand) this helped us all . It also helped his self esteem to be able to teach the kids in his class this valuable tool.
Good luck!
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