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female
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anonymous
writes: I am writing because I feel like such a bad parent. I have a fantastic little girl, she is 5. She is outgoing, very self confident, resilient, happy go lucky and quite a character. She has also always been popular with her friends. We have a great relationship and I lover her to bits and she knows that, but today I slipped up... I have been struggeling to get her to pay attention to toilet hygiene. She keeps "forgetting" to wipe her bum, flush the toilet and wash her hands even after a poo (sorry). I have been sensitive about it and have talked to her many times and have recently put her on the naughty step for 5 minutes if she does not do these basic things. It is really not very nice to find day old poo stuck to her bum and pants. So tonight, I discovered the same at bath time and said to her that if she does not wipe, her bum becomes smelly and that her friends at school will not want to play with a girl with a smelly bum. Oh dear! How awfull to say such a thing to a little child!! That is simply bad parenting. I never say anything degrading like that to my children. I tried waking her up to say sorry and that I did not mean that, but she is so fast asleep and I feel just terrible. Reply to this Question
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reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (17 January 2008):
 Your not a bad parent. I have three daughters and one son. Every single one of them had the wiping difficulty at 5. Just keep on reminding her. She'll get it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): how about making it into a game? children often respond to this. what about a a counting rhyme to take care of this mundane task? something like
"one and two louise has done a poo"
"three and four she is all cleaned up once more"
"five and six we pull the flushing stick"
"seven and eight to wash our hands is great"
"nine and ten and its off to play again"
bit silly i know, but it might work. you could get her some really nice soap for the hand washing. perhaps even one of the new foaming ones and make it her special one that no-one else is allowed to use. as for saying what you did....well however much you want to, you cant take it back. you have made yourself feel guilty enough. i see your question was posted around 2 weeks ago so i bet your daughter has forgotten all about it. i also bet you havent. does that sound like a bad parent to you? no! we all make mistakes and say things we later regret. you say she is a happy and well adjusted child, so she knows that her mummy loves her very much. just keep telling her that every day (you sound like the sort of mummy who would anyway). i bet your little girl is far too busy to remember to deal with her toilet hygiene alone. the social life of a five year old can be hectic and exhausting lol. seriously though, hygiene will come to your daughter soon enough. i hope the little rhyme will help you both in the meantime. good luck
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