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male
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anonymous
writes: I have 2 biological children who live with their mom, also have 2 step children who live with me.Can relate to daughter who is 16 but feel resentful and awkward with stepson who is same age as my children (boy n girl) have problems with contact with my kids and dont see them but keep in touch by phone. How can I get a better relationship with stepson, help plz? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, salsere  +, writes (12 February 2007):
Your step children are never going to go away while you are in a relationhip with their parent.
I am sure if you would just cut them some slack and try to make more of an effort with them that you will find that you will get on with them a hell of a lot more.
Dont let you not having contact with your children effect the relationship you could have with your step children. You can still love your own children and have love for your step children too. Nothing will take away the fact of how much you care about your real children they are never going to be replaced by anyone.
Your step children probably find it difficult to be around you because they no doubt they feel the resentment that you give them. This must be really hard on them knowing that you probably dont really want them around, after a while your step children wont care for your thoughts and feelings and will just dis respect you because you havent given them a fair go. Dont let it get to that stage, talk to them get to know them. These problems and feelings you have are not going to go away, and in the end it will cause problems in your relationship, dont let it get that far, you are the adult make an effort with your step children. I am sure once you take the time out to get to know them the chances are the are fab kids and you could probably have a good loving relationship with them. If you keep on with the resentment in the end it will cause you to chew yourself up and cause a break down with your partner. Step parents dont have to be a step parents, they can just be friends. Lose the parent role and just become friends with them, i am sure if you try harder with them your be just find, all tbe best
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