| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: how can i prevent my 14 yr old son resenting my new boyfriend? Reply to this Question |
Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jovial  + ♥, writes (5 December 2006):
 hi there
there is no straight answer to this kind of question as sometimes u can take all the precautions and its still occurs or sometimes u just dont see it coming. what u can do is that consider his feelings first bfore u introduce ur bf to him bcos when u get a new bf kids get confused they think u have him bcos u dont love them anymore thats why they bcome resentful its some sort of a defense mechanism for them and we cant blame them. and u will probably think at 14 he is old enough to understand as he knew what happened between u and his father, no one is ready for this. talk to him and allow him to share his feelings if u detect no signs of insecurity know that he is fine with ur bf but dont expect too much from him it might take time for him to adjust its okay, if detect insecurities reassure him that u are still his mother and nothing has changed allow him to be comfortable if u push then he is going to be resentful, kids wants to feel secure bfore they can allow anyone in their territory they are just like adults. good luck
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