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female
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anonymous
writes: Fear of Nursery SchoolI have 3 year old twins, a boy and a girl. Recently I tried to start them at Nursery school. The initial problem occured with my son when I left. He became hysterical and could not be comforted. This did not abate with time, infact it increased in intensity. In turn this set off his sister, who was protecting him. I subsequently returned to the Nursery on a different day with just my daughter and this time she was hysterical, and could not be comforted. The Nursery said that they were not emotionally ready and asked me to leave.Q: How much emotional damage will this have caused?Q: How can I tell when they are emotionally ready?Q: How can I successfully settle them at Nursery without breaching trust?Help - Poppy Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, chellxx +, writes (17 October 2006):
 I do not think that this will emotionally damage them in anyway. Most children behave like this when the first start nursery and even school. I think that the nursery have delt with this badly try asking the nursery if you could stay with them for the first sesion so they get use to the other children and nursery staff but know your still there, then if you can try staying for a little while and while they are busy playing sneak out and build it up from there or ask if they can attend for just a hour to start with then build it up from there.
Also make nursery sound like such fun and when you collect them give them a hug and lots of praise and asked them what they have done.
It is very hard for mums to leave a screaming child let alone two while i havent got twins i had my daughter and step-grandaughter at nursery together and it was awful when they got upset often i would be in tears as i walked away but within minutes they had calmed down and it was me that was the mess.
take care
Chell
A
female
reader, DrPsych  + ♥, writes (9 October 2006):
 It is not emotionally harmful - it is a normal reaction to maternal separation...when they don't cry at all then you have to worry! I think the nursery handled the situation badly but that is another issue. Perhaps you need to socialise your children around other adults incrementally over time - with you leaving for a little while - and always returning quickly...then extending the time...if they come to understand Mummy is coming back soon then they will be more independent of you in time. You may also wish to employ a child minder if your nursery placement was for occupational reasons - if they get used to another adult caring for them at home then it is one step away from a nursery.
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