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female
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anonymous
writes: My son is 9 years old and at a private school. He was recently made to stand in a corner by his teacher after she said he wasn't listening in class. He was very upset and said that she may as well have given him a hat with a D on it.I fell very upset and feel that this is not the way to treat a child in a modern education system. My son does not want me to talk to his teacher about this.Should I to talk to his form mistress about this or should I keep quiet ? Reply to this Question
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reader, clare h +, writes (28 November 2006):
this is really serious and not acceptable today in schooling - it is using humiliation as a way of "teaching" a child and it has long been identified that effective learning requires positive not negative reinforcement ie. use encouragement and praise, not punishment.
I learnt that my son, when 4/5, was regularly put on the classroom's "naughty chair" in his first year; he also had severe behaviour problems in that class (which hadn't occurred before) but which we couldn't get to the bottom of. We later got him diagnosed as having ADHD; however it was clearly the teacher's (mis)treatment of him that caused his difficult behaviours - to punish a child unfairly will guarantee behaviour problems of some kind, which can then snowball as they're constantly treated as "bad". I know this mistreatment/misunderstanding particularly in schools underlies a massive amount of resulting "challenging behaviours" - I worked with the end result for several years ie.teenagers with learning difficulties who mostly had had massive negative experiences in previous schools.
I took my son out as soon as I learnt this - you must tackle it head on - go directly to the head (not the teacher) with a clear case thought out, be polite but firm. If you don't feel this is taken seriously or they care, seriously consider taking him out - it indicates the attitude of the school and he will continue to suffer. You're there to protect him; it won't go away - "wait till next time" means he will suffer again. It's sad he didn't want you to talk to the teacher, indicating he doesn't feel safe. My son, now 13, when having problems with a teacher usually was happy (thankful) for me to tackle it; recently though he wasn't, due to a teacher being a nasty character who ridiculed him. He was afraid he would do this again if I contacted him - this is a classic tactic in child bullying (and abuse) - do you think I listened to my child and left it?!!! It's important to handle it sensitively though of course, and watch the school doesn't make things worse by dealing with it badly just to make you feel they've done something (common happening). And to happen in a private school??? It shouldn't happen anywhere but you're paying for this and can vote with your feet - let them know that. Good luck
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female
reader, SassySarah +, writes (22 September 2006):
If he dont want you to go then dont you will only give him a reason not to tell you anything ever again.
BUT....
If it happens again (wich i hope it dont) then get straight up there and give her a pice of your mind.
And the head teacher as well.
Good luck
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