A
female
age
22-25,
Mistify
writes:Hello allI'm sure this is a very general question, but i need some advice.My daughter is now four and a half, and just doesn't listen to anything i say. She only listens when i shout, or threaten to give her a hiding.I have to ask her 10 times calmly just to brush her teeth, eat her dinner, pick up her toys or just stand closer so that i can comb her hair. She is generally a joyous child, and i don't think she is ADD / ADHD, but i think my methods are not working anymore. I've piped down on the sugar, and she eats very healthily. She has a strick bed-time, and she does well at school. She's not impossibly naughty - as in killing the hamster, or painting the walls, but the smaller things bug me.Like when i say no to something, she will keep on asking 20 more times. I've tried just saying - because i said so, and i've also tried explaining why i say no, but she's so clever that she will try and reason with me. How do i get her to respect me as her mother, and to accept that my word is (in so many words) the law.??? Please help. Reply to this Question |
Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 To be honest its a hard one i know.
I find that raising my voice sometimes just doesnt work.
I found that sometimes when he is bad i take away one of his toys. Then when good i return it.
It did get to the point where he had non in his room lol.
I have also started a chart with stars.
Basically you have the days of the week and then get soem stars or smily face stickers etc.
If you have other children add them to it to.
For each thing she does good in the day you or she adds a sticker.
Set an amount for each week in which she has to achive.
Say 20 it may sound alot but you will notice that she will want to be goo and do good things to get the treat at the end of the week.
It could be anything froma new small toy to a day trip of a goody bag.
However if she is naughty or doesnt do as she was told take her to the chart and either you remove a sticker or she or place an unhappy sticker on the chart.
I also read the parenting books etc and asked questions on sites like this but to no avail.
I dont think we are doing anything wrong. Some childrena re just like this.
Keep up with the oil and try the chart.
Keep in touch
Peaches
A
female
reader, Mistify +, writes (7 November 2007):
Mistify is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your reply.
I had her on an oil - omega 3, 6 and 9. I must be honest, it worked WONDERS.. I don't know why i stopped, but i put her back on about 4 days ago. So hold thumbs. The oil i have - is not tasty, but i put in in her yogurt, and she doesn't even notice. I bought it from DISCHEM - South Africa's Equivalent to your Superdrugs, and it cost R168 - equivalent to about 11pounds.
Do you have any other advice? How can i change the way i ask her to do things? I've read stax and stax of parenting books and magazines, and everybody tells me i have a great daughter, and i'm doing a fantastic job, but sometimes i feel like i'm failing, and taking my frustrations out on her.
I know it is normal though, so i'm not too worried.
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (7 November 2007):
Hiya
I sympathise for you so much my 4 year old son is exactly the same.
Although i did get him tested for add etc.
Strange as it may sound and you will probably think im crazy on this.
I read somewhere about a child that had the same problems as your daughter and my son and his mum put him on omega 3 capsuls. One a day.
After about 6 weeks she and teh teachers at school noticed a hugh difference.
Any way i though it couldnt hurt so i started my son on them in June of this year.
By end of July i saw a difference already. Now dont get me wrong he isnt perfect adn we do have a little times where he just wont take no for an answer or will argue about certain things but it is rare.
I wanted to check that it wasnt just him learning to be good so i stopped the pills for a month and surprise he went back to be agressive and bad tempered.
You may be thinking god how expesive. not at all. I got a tub of 90 from superdrugs, just their own brand for about £9.
Try it and let me know.
Good luck
Peaches
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